Delhi’s immortal Mirza Ghalib composed some of the world’s greatest love poems. Even so, when the poet would sit every morning on the commode, he wouldn’t exactly expel rose petals. Indeed, one thing that links the great romantic artists to us ordinary mortals is our human body’s basic functions, and malfunctions. Being human, Ghalib naturally had his share of digestive setbacks. The fact is on record, confirms poetry scholar Aqil Ahmad, showing a Ghalib verse as proof. The erudite man heads central Delhi’s Ghalib Academy, which has a museum showcasing, among other things, terracotta reproductions of food items dearest to Ghalib’s belly—see photo.
While on the topic, it must be regretfully pointed out that the most notorious digestive malfunction linked to Delhi is Delhi belly. A dictionary defines it as “a stomach disorder sometimes afflicting newcomers to the capital.” In 2016, Spanish tennis star Rafael Nadal was visiting Delhi when he had to pull out of a match, allegedly due to Delhi belly. Hindustan Times headline was “Wrist or Delhi belly? Mystery clouds Rafael Nadal’s no show.”
Whatever, the good name of no other city has been as thoroughly dragged through mud as Ghalib’s Delhi. Foreigners complain of getting Delhi belly even when they are not in Delhi. Lonely Planet travel series founder Tony Wheeler wrote a book in which he said he got Delhi belly during his travels in Iran. The Bradt guide on Macedonia advises “if you are prone to a bit of Delhi Belly, bring some suitable medication with you from home”. But Macedonia is in Europe!
International politics too couldn’t stay untainted by Delhi belly. In 1971, the then US president Richard Nixon’s top advisor Henry Kissinger flew to Delhi, then to Islamabad in Pakistan, where he went underground after being hit by… Delhi belly of course! This was fake news. In reality, Kissinger had secretly travelled to Beijing, preparing for Nixon’s historic summit with Chairman Mao.
As for Delhi, the native Delhiwale during Ghalib’s time were said to be highly susceptible to upset tummies. The prime culprit being the canal that coursed through Old Delhi’s Chandni Chowk—says the aforementioned Ghalib scholar. The canal water, supplied to many neighbourhoods, was so filthy that citizen would often end up jetting out “dast.” Although the one time when Ghalib immortalised his loose motions into verse was caused not by compromised street kebabs, or dirty canal water, but by a laxative that the poet had taken to ease his constipation. Read the fateful poem yourself—Urdu to English translation withheld out of politeness sake!
Sahal tha mus’hil, wale ye sakht mushkil a pari,
Mujh pe kya guzre-gi itne roz hazir bin hue.
Teen din mush’hil se paih’le, teen din mush’hil ke bad,
Teen mush’hil, teen tadbiren, ye sab kai din hue?